How am I not myself

Having stockpiled a year's supply of canned goods and planted a hefty garden of vegetable seeds, it should be self-evident that the next thing to do is to learn to shoot a handgun.

Obvious, no?

On Sunday, Eric and I and our friend Steffen (but sans Teresa who bailed at the last minute but had been expected) went to an indoor pistol range in South San Francisco called Jackson Arms. They do a Novice Shooter's Package that includes a 20 minute lesson ("this is a gun, this is the magazine, this is the safety," plus a few cautionary tales about disregarding safety rules sprinkled in for good measure), equipment rental and as much range time as you can handle.

First we shot a .22 caliber and let me just say right now that I was an excellent shot: 148 out of 150 points on the target. Not bad, eh? We moved the target out to various distances and I still stayed almost exclusively in the black, which is good. I was ready to buy myself a t-shirt that said "badass."

Then the boys got tired of shooting such a small gun, so we moved up to a 9mm to try out something a little more potent. This was a bigger gun with significantly bigger bullets. It had a lot more kick than the .22 and it made much bigger holes in the target. I was starting to feel less qualified for the t-shirt.

Then, just because we could (it was free with the Novice Shooter's Package), we once again traded up and took turns shooting a .45. Holy crap. This gun made the .22 feel like shooting a cap gun and made me want the people renting the guns to have asked for much more information about me than they had.

Being "someone who shoots guns" is pretty* far outside of my current self-concept. I like trying new things and I say yes to new opportunities as often as I can, which also means that I have done a lot of other things that also challenge my sense of "what I am about." I think that's a good thing, generally. But it also leads you to say things like "I'm not the kind of person who..." more often than feels credible; if you are doing those things, then you are, in fact, the kind of person who does them.

I am the kind of person who says yes more often than I say no. I may or may not be the kind of person who wears a t-shirt that says "badass." We don't know yet.

*very

**doesn't my hair look good?