How am I not myself, part two

My improv teacher has emphasized, cajoled and even attempted to shame us into keeping improv journals to help us develop throughout the class. I decided I would give it a try even though I think my personal journaling record is somewhere in the 7-9 day range, or approximately four entries.

Rather than buy a new journal to use as my improv diary I went down to the storage area and dug around in a box full of old journals, all empty except for the first handful of pages.

It was fun and horrible to read these excerpts from my brain many years ago. Some of it is stuff I would write afresh today; some of it seems like it was written by someone I once knew and didn't like very much.

Here's the opening line from the June 12, 2002 entry:
"I worked hard to relax this weekend and I did a pretty good job."

It speaks volumes, no?

Another gem:
"I should probably do some deep intraspection about myself - but I think I already know as much as I can."

Ha!

"I have a hard time turning work off. I woke up at 4am last night thinking about how to solve problems from work."

Yeah.

There's your typical true confessions type stuff:
"I am afraid of being crazy."

And I think perhaps most telling of all is how one journal started, with a question that I am still working to find an answer to:
"WHAT DO I WANT?"