Day two of intensive training was pretty intense. The day included a lot of concepts and tools which will help us all to be more effective and more fulfilled in our jobs, for which I am grateful. I think that getting permission and explicit support to focus on personal and professional development at work is a gift and feel very lucky and glad to be doing this.
Perhaps the most intense part of the day was the portion where we gave each other direct feedback. It worked like this. We broke into two groups of about 15 people each and chairs were arranged in a U with one seat placed like half an umlaut over the U; this is the hot seat. One by one we each took our turn in the hot seat where we received exclusively "constructive" feedback. It might sound harsh, but I actually think this was the best way to get people to give enough real feedback in a short time. Without this structure you get so much positive padding up front that we would still be there and only about halfway through.
Nonetheless, it does make for a pretty pointed experience. I hope to never face a firing squad but I think I am now prepared for it. Especially if the firing squad starts by throwing marshmallows and teddy bears but then it turns out that they are full of spikes and broken glass. You see - the "no positive feedback" rule had the unintended consequence of pushing people to frame "corrective" feedback as part of something positive to soften it, but I found it more often had the opposite effect. For example, you would hear comments like "You're such a nice person...that you're actually a doormat and no one takes you seriously." Now they've gotten ick all over both the positive and the negative.
Tom made the good point, after the first few people had gone and some looked a little traumatized, that we shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that somehow saying this out loud makes it more real; people already think these things, this is just a chance for them to say them to you and give you a chance to do something about it.
My turn was actually not bad at all though not for a lack of participation. Everyone who went before me sat in the hot seat for a good 15 seconds of silence before anyone piped up with feedback, yet my buns were barely planted on the chair before several people were literally talking over each other to offer me feedback. I've decided to take that as a good thing.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
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1 comment:
I've done this exercise at work, too. It's interesting, for sure. They actually forced us all to say one thing we wanted each person to start doing, one thing they should stop doing, and one thing they should keep doing. And you had to phrase it that way, which made it even tougher to soften...but I agree, it was a good exercise, mostly because no one made me cry.
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