Easy go

I've been trying to sell my futon couch (that lays flat to be a bed) on craigslist since the week before our chocolate brown couch was delivered, so about a month now. Once we got the couch, we put the futon in our storage area, which is also known as the space in the parking spot not taken up by the car. It was clear the futon was not going to age well in this damp basement-y environment, especially with me rolling into it every time I parked the car.

I reposted it again yesterday at the fire sale price of $75 and got a woman who was interested in just the frame, which seemed to me like a good start. She came by mid-morning to pick it up in an SUV which was too small for it. As we were trying earnestly but unsuccessfully to force it in anyway, a chick mechanic from the hybrid garage across the street sauntered over. "Looks like you ladies need a woman's help," she cooed. Apparently we did: with a power drill she unscrewed the awkward piece of the frame that was causing the problem and she had the frame in and the SUV's rear door closed lickety-split. Off drove the frame, leaving me with just the moldering mattress remaining to unload.

The first guy who responded to the mattress-only ad asked what size it was. I told him it was a queen* and he wrote back "Woohoo! I'll take it as long as it's not covered with animal fur or blood haha." I told him it was his and that he would have to supply his own animal fur and blood. I didn't mention that the plum-colored cover it was wearing was doing an excellent job hiding the large greasy stain on the original cover from a piece of aged manchego left sitting on it overnight, possibly because I once fell asleep on the couch while eating cheese at 2am, or maybe from something else.

And thus, the futon now joins a table and chairs on the (troublingly long) list of things I paid to move across the country just to sell on a different craigslist.

*I'd say there's a solid 40% chance it was not actually a queen