Still can't quite believe it

Yesterday, on my way home from work, I cruised through a stop sign at an empty intersection to find myself moments later being aggressively pursued by a motorcycle cop, lights flashing and siren blaring. It did not take him long to catch up with me. At first I moved to the side of the road to give him plenty of room to pass and when he didn't pass me it occurred to me that perhaps I was what was of interest to him. I stopped my bike at the curb.

"I can't believe it," he started. "I was sitting there talking to that taxi driver who was complaining to me about bikes not following traffic laws and you just come blowing right through the intersection."

"Uhh," I responded. I wasn't sure what to say. I wanted to say "I don't like stopping when there's no one else at the intersection because then I have to pedal more to get going again" but that sounded lame. And I also wanted to say "I am dumbfounded that I have just been pulled over on my bicycle because that's incredibly stupid." But instead I just stood there mouth agape staring at him.

So I had to endure a stern lecture and more incredulous exclamations about what an idiot I must be to do what I just did.

At one point he even said, "Never in my 33 years as a police officer..." though I kind of wonder if he says that a lot.

"Do you ride critical mass?" he asked me at one point during the lengthy process of writing me a ticket which included me spelling "Connecticut" for him five times (he only had to write it down once).

"No," I told him.

"That's good," he said. "That puts bad ideas into people's heads."

After a while of standing there waiting for him to finally hand me this ridiculous ticket, I started to cry. I felt a little dumb about it but couldn't really help it. I was standing there crying when a nice-looking couple pulled up in an enormous RV.

"Excuse me office I know you're busy but could we ask you a question?" the nice lady in the passenger seat asked.

"You can ask her," he offered, indicating to me.

"Do you know where around here we can park a large RV?" she asked me.

"Sorry, I don't," I said, wiping my nose.

He wouldn't tell me how much the ticket was for (looks like it will be about $120) but he did reinforce several of his key themes as he finally handed me the ticket. As I got ready to bike away, a guy walked up to the cop.

"Officer, I'd like to thank you for doing this. Bikers are such a problem..." was all I heard before I rode down the block to the red light 20 feet away.

"Did that cop just give you a ticket on your bike?" another passerby asked me as I sat stopped at the light. I said yes.

"What a jerk*! As if there aren't real crimes in this city for him to be worrying about."

"Yeah," I agreed.


*He used a different word.