Who invited the homeless lady

To say that I am not 100% on top of my game right now would be…true. Let me share an example.

During the pre-move chaos I packed a handful of work-acceptable maternity clothes into my next-two-months suitcase (everything else went to storage where it will be until we are successful in buying a house or we give up trying) but they are ill-fitting and don’t really go so well together. So for my Chicago work trip, knowing that I would be among extremely fashion-conscious women, I opted for the least bad combo: black pants that could fit two of me, a light blue knit top that isn’t quite long enough and a light grey jacket that I can’t button over my belly. Add to that that something about the Florida water has turned my hair to greasy straw. Also, I realized the morning of the meeting about 10 minutes before the bus was leaving that I haven’t plucked my eyebrows in about a month and I didn’t have any tweezers with me. And my shoes may be a little too well-worn.

On the bus ride to the meeting, my Luna bar flaked a little chocolate coating onto my blue shirt right in the middle of my belly. I tried to dab it off but it turned into a big brown spot. Remember: jacket doesn’t button. Instead, it calls attention to the big stain by framing it just so.

I pretend that all is well and I take my active role in leading this meeting, trying not to notice how sharp everyone else looks.

Several hours into the meeting, during the morning break, I go to the bathroom and notice that the prominent silver necklace and earrings that I am wearing – accessories! my one bright spot! – clash horribly with the large black and gold buttons on the grey jacket.

I am happy to say that in spite of all of this, the meeting went extremely well and we got to a very exciting outcome.

I am also now accepting suggestions for professional make-over packages in the Tampa area.